It’s apparently fun and sexy nowadays to have anxiety issues. But those of us who know, know. Anxiety monsters are real.
What is anxiety? The UK’s National Health Service defines it as:
a feeling of unease, such as worry or fear, that can be mild or severe.
That’s it. And if you are a human, you experience anxiety if you are going to take a rest or meet a new guy. The problem is when you become me.
My Anxiety Monster
This photo came up on my Facebook feed today.
My comment in response was that the photo made me incredibly sad because I cannot figure out how to explain that feeling to another person so it makes sense. I can’t.
My mind will cannibalize itself in a crazy attempt to make me feel better. It will stop me from functioning because it feels that we need to stop and worry about 15 million things that may either be wrong or right.
I get things done despite this. Sometimes.
But I never hear anyone talking about their own anxiety monster.
I don’t hear people discussing how they deal with it. I know I’m special, but to be the only person on a planet of 7 billion people having and anxiety monster is a bit extreme I feel. Someone out there must understand. But I never hear the people I consider to be successful talk about it.
How they nearly threw up when asked to do a simple presentation.
How writing one more job application to one more place you really want to hire you makes you feel like a total and complete loser.
How completing a task you have no clue how to handle makes you like you will die.
How not doing anything, not failing, and not trying, makes you feel better and worse, all at the same time.
My anxiety monster isn’t my friend. I’ve read the people who say to embrace the things that scare you.
What happens if the monster is in your head? And it is threatening to eat you alive.