Are we sure I’m this old?!

I’m 31. That’s a beautiful and terrifying thought all at once.

Beautiful because so many people did not have the privilege to make it to this age. Terrifying because I still feel like I’m 20, just with way less time left on the planet. OMG, I’m…an adult. I’m the responsible person in the room. I’m the one expected to have answers.

Who the hell signed off on this?!

With that freak-out out of the way, I’ll dive into my 31 life lessons it took me 31 years to learn.

31 Life Lessons It Took Me 31 Years To Learn

  1. My relationship with my family sets the tone for my life. When all is well with them, I am sailing on the moon. When things are not ok, everything falls apart. Thank God there have been more good days than bad or I could get nothing done.
  2. It is a beautiful thing to look in the mirror and love yourself. Not just the way I look or feel, but the way I learn, how much I talk, and the things I find funny. I’m much better at being kind to myself nowadays.
  3. Don’t be with anyone who sees you from a place of lack. Don’t be with anyone who thinks you would be more beautiful looking like someone else. It will harm your self-image and make you question your value. Don’t do it.
  4. Some days you will be super productive. Other days, moving out of bed to pee will be the highlight of your day. Both days are fine in moderation but honor your energy. You will meet people who have a different process and will insist that your way is wrong. They can f@*k themselves.
  5. Perfectionism isn’t a commitment to doing things properly the first time, it is a fear that you will not be loved if you don’t do things perfectly every time. It isn’t a virtue. The process of learning that nearly killed me.

  6. I am more than willing to be a good friend to you for years on end if you are also a good friend to me. I cannot, however, keep pouring into your drama-filled life while receiving no support from you. Nope!
  7. I’m also not cut out to be put in dangerous situations to be your friend. I live and lead a quiet life. I don’t want the reason I die to be as a result of your utter rubbish.
  8. My mother wasn’t born my mother. She is a human with her own goals, dreams, and aspirations. At 31, she was married and had 2 children. I better appreciate how difficult that must have been for her.
  9. Locs are the nicest things I ever did for myself. I look neat and groomed all the time with minimal effort and that is hairstyle nirvana for me.
  10. I have infinite patience for old people and children. Everyone else needs to at least try to sort their own shit out.

  11. If I spent all my time caring about what other people thought of me, I’d get nothing done. Only the idle have that much time to criticize, everyone else is working.
  12. My sibling is the most awesome sibling in the history of the world. Every childhood memory we have together is 100% better because he was there.
  13. Sometimes it makes no sense to forgive and forget. Sometimes you need therapy and books and a process to work to the point of forgiveness. Then you’ll never forget and that’s ok.
  14. I wouldn’t come back from the future and tell 16-year old me a damn thing. One change in the ripples and I wouldn’t be here, as me, today. And I freaking love me and where I am.
  15. It is super difficult for me to have and keep long term goals unless I have short term objectives.31 Life Lessons It Took Me 31 Years To Learn - You Need Life Skills
  16. Exercise is important for building grit and mental toughness and I have used those skills in other areas of my life. Like anything else “this too will pass”.
  17. A relationship can end and still be beautiful. It can change you on a base level and make you see the world as a much brighter place.
  18. If you want it, you can have it. If I need to beg, borrow or steal it, if you want it, it’s yours. That is my promise to those I love.
  19. Wearing a hat to the beach is always an excellent decision.
  20. Be careful what you say. Everyone is living a hard life and you don’t know if your words will be the ones that will break them.

  21. It is possible that I will win the lottery and become a millionaire. It is more likely that I will hustle hard and pay off all my bills slowly. The first is for daydreaming, the second is for doing.
  22. I have never regretted the things I have done. That means I need to continue to make decisions that I won’t regret.
  23. Don’t be with a man who doesn’t introduce you to his friends or family. That is shady and indicative of deeper issues.
  24. There is a guy out there who thinks you’d make an excellent housewife for him. He is not the one for you.
  25. At every stage of my life, I am struck with massive uncertainty about what to do next. At every stage, everything has worked out. Stop fretting and panicking.

  26. Eliminating people from your life is super difficult. If I get to the point where I am considering doing so, it’s a sign that something is off in our friendship/relationship.
  27. I’m going to die. I’m going to die. There is no greater motivation for me to live an authentic life than to realize that life is 100% fatal.
  28. Friends make the world worth living in. I cannot imagine what my life would be like without my support system.
  29. I don’t do things I don’t think I could live with. I value my peace of mind much more highly nowadays.
  30. Books, any category or kind, are an aphrodisiac. A man who refers to books when speaking to me is asking for me to propose.
  31. God and the Universe have my back and are constantly looking out for me in order to bring me the best life has to offer. If I remember that, so many things start becoming less important and less of a crisis.

Let me know the life lessons you’ve picked up! 

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